Christmas

Another Christmas has come and gone in our home. The boys were here with us for the actual holiday, and so that was absolutely lovely.

Many books came into our home as gifts this Christmas, and I look forward to those that were given to me. I have already read most of the boys' new books to them as bedtime stories. I will be sad the day that they decide they are too big to snuggle with me on mine and D's bed and read before getting tucked in. It's such a staple - an almost meditative part of my day. I hold them, and I know the good and the bad of the day, and none of it matters right then because I have two beautiful boys who love me and who I love, and we're sharing books together, sharing a togetherness right before they fall asleep. J often nods off before we're done stories. I'm still able to pick him up and carry him to bed, but just barely. It's scary how big they are getting.

I sit in our mess of a living room, coated on most surfaces (including the floor) with various Christmas presents, wrappings, or instruction booklets. I am not a mess person, and each day this mess will get smaller as I slowly work at it in between playing, reading, cooking, cleaning, and boo-boo fixing. It's amazing to me that this mess is OK only because my boys made it. If I had made this mess it would be utterly intolerable and I'd have to clean it up before bed. But I won't - I'm heading to bed in a moment. I might read a few pages of Nineveh and Its Remains before I tuck in (yes, still working on it - Christmas shopping, cards, visits, wrapping, and a few other work responsibilities means I've abandoned this blog for most of the last month). But I will sleep soundly even though there is a mess downstairs. It's amazing what being a (step)mom will do to you, the things you're able to deal with and better yet, just accept.

G once asked if I would rather have a clean house everyday - we'd just finished cleaning up their toys that evening. He said he knew he made messes, and that I didn't like messes, so would I rather he was at Mama's? Oh, I held him close and it brought tears to my eyes. I told him I'd rather have him and his brother here and have the house be heaped 5 feet high in toys than have a clean house with no boys.

I think he was looking for reassurance, and I hope he got it. But that day was the day I decided that I'd try to let the little stuff go. It's been a long journey so far, adapting to being a Mom. But every day they teach me something new.

Merry Christmas, everyone. I hope you've snuggled your kids too.

The United Way booksale. Or, the Victoria College Booksale.

This week is the United Way Booksale at my university.

I have a problem with booksales. I can't resist them.

One of the main reasons that I have so many unread books is because of booksales. Because so many booksale donations come from estates and whatnot, I find a plethora of the cloth- and leather-bound books that I adore. I find these books as addictive as creme brulee, hot sunshine and good wine. I want to own them all. I love reading little inscriptions in their fronts, and knowing that this book that I now own was found by someone named Helen under her Christmas tree back in the 50s. I feel at peace when I find these things.

I used to go to the Victoria College booksale when I went to U of T. The last day of the sale was "Boxing Day". For $10, you purchased a box. Then you filled it and left. The last time I did it I wound up with a first-edition Steinbeck.

And so, this week is the United Way fundraising booksale. I went during my lunch today, and in addition to a few books for the kids, I found a Paul Theroux, a book by Jane Goodall, and a Farley Mowat book about Dian Fossey. As I am currently reading a book about Leakey's "Three Primates" (the three ladies who studied the great apes - I'll blog it in a few days, I'm almost done), I immediately snatched up the latter two.

And here we reach the crux of this post: I originally hypothesized that I would read from the top left of the first bookcase to the bottom-right of the last bookcase and blog each book. I still wish to do this. I didn't originally consider that I would keep buying books, though of course this will be the case.

And my first reaction was fear - did I start a project that will never end? But then I realized I must stop considering this as a project. This is a pasttime. This is something to enjoy and savour as the page count rises, and as cliche as it sounds, it will be a journey. There won't be a set ending, and now that I've thought consciously about it, this doesn't bother me.

So - I will have a Home Book and a Work Book. My purse isn't big enough nor do I have the desire to truck a book to and from work each day. My Home Books will be left-to-right, top-to-bottom books. My Work Books may or may not be so - reading heavy philosophy or sociological studies at lunchtime doesn't appeal to me.

My current Home Book is one I took out of the library ages ago, but I'm getting there. I'll blog it soon. Once it's done I'll start in the top-left of the first bookcase. Here we go!

Word of the Week: Osetra

Well, Bourdain spells it "osetra". There are a plethora of other spellings online, an indication of a word that has been translated from another language that doesn't use the English alphabet. You should see how many variations there are for English spellings of Arabic words, a phenomenon I experienced with frustration while researching particular archaeological sites, only to find that they have 5 or 6 'different' names.

Osetra is a type of caviar. The second-most-expensive type of caviar there is (beluga has it beat). Unfortunately the species of sturgeon that produces it is nearly extinct in the wild. If you choose to partake, please be sure to sample from the farmed osetra-producing sturgeon.

I'm not sure I have ever tried caviar. As a child it has the gross-out factor - fish eggs? Yuck! But as an adult, it has an allure, and an air of importance and expense. It is also similar to other prestigious seafoods (oysters, fugu), in that it is expensive, and you want to make sure you get the 'right' experience the first time you try it. I've turned many an oyster hater into an oyster lover simply by showing them the good kinds, and how to eat them. I feel that I've never had anyone looking over my shoulder at a nice restaurant, able to tell me what caviar to order and how to enjoy it.

There's also my general lack of like for fish eggs. I love sushi, but I request it masago-free. The various varieties of fish eggs have been sampled and rejected by my taste buds. Would caviar be better? Different?

Completed: A Cook's Tour: In Search of the Perfect Meal

Many years ago, I read a book called Cosmopolitan by Toby Cecchini. It was recommended to me because I was told that anyone who has worked behind a bar (as I did for many years) needed to read it. I have since told many a service-industry person the same thing. Anyone who hasn't worked front-of-house will still enjoy it, but they just might not get it as much.

A few years later, I was introduced to the back-of-house equivalent of Cosmopolitan. It was (is) called Kitchen Confidential, by a chef named Anthony Bourdain. I remember lending it to my Dad one summer - we spent a week or so at a cabin belonging to a family friend on Manitoulin Island. Dad spent hours reading it, bursting into his high-pitched laugh every few minutes.

So, when I came across another autobiographical Bourdain book in a bargain bin, I couldn't help it. It has sat on the shelf, as have hundreds of my books, for several years. I finally picked it up as lighthearted reading material for my lunches at work a few weeks ago. It may not have been the best selection for meal time - he eats some damn disgusting food as he jets around the world. But the man just has a way with words. You can't help but be right there, feel the emotions he's feeling. A high while eating perfect Moroccan food in Fez. Stomach turning due to food poisoning or drinking cobra bile. He's almost convinced me I need to visit Vietnam. I certainly need to visit the south of France.

More than anything, his book convinces me that there is no such thing as the single most perfect meal. It's a sentiment I've always agreed with, but now I can formulate that conclusion more consciously than I could before. A crepe purchased off a street vendor in Paris, or a calzone from a basement restaurant in Hungary, are just as delicious as Il Mulino in Toronto or Coast here in Vancouver. I will always crave a kartoffelpuffer (potato pancake with garlic sauce) and some roasted maroni (chestnuts) on a cold winter's day in Vienna just as much as a perfectly cooked lobster.

Stay tuned for a Word of the Week catch-up post - Bourdain uses enough culinary terms to make your head spin!

Title: A Cook's Tour: In Search of the Perfect Meal
Author: Anthony Bourdain
Pages: 274

Total books blogged: 5
Total pages: 2,148

Completed: The Lord of the Ring trilogy

That's it! I'm all done grad school. It doesn't quite seem real yet. I haven't yet felt a sense of loss at no longer having that status, but perhaps that is because being done is better than being in the fray. "I can't - too busy with school" doesn't apply any more, but I still feel there aren't enough hours. "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." Garfield? Calvin? Not sure who said it, but it applies to me. I want to play my flute, and work on my stamp collection (mock if you will - it was fun when I was a kid and it's still fun), do puzzles, write on this blog, read more, enjoy TV without guilt, experiment with cooking, get back to the gym (went to a brutal spin class today - first time in two months!), write to my family more... so much to do! It's only been a few weeks, but I've started to get to my non-grad-student list.

And one of the things I wanted to get to was the Lord of the Rings. I last wrote when I was reading the Fellowship. I have gotten through the Two Towers, and also the Return of the King. I tried to read the appendices, but the first one was like reading that part of the Bible where so-and-so begot such-and-such - just a huge list of jumbled names, and I just couldn't. Plus, I didn't want the extra information to take away from what was an absolutely mesmerizing place - Middle Earth is wonderful. I would visit in a heartbeat - particularly Lothlorien. He really did create a whole world. When you read a book and not one detail is missing to make it real - when nothing takes your attention away from the story, because the background is flawless - that is truly magical writing. I enjoyed every sentence. Even the simplest detail was beautifully conveyed. Everyone should read LOTR.

I have seen the first movie, and of course, with the book so fresh in my mind, I was somewhat disappointed. I suppose I shouldn't have expected more - they couldn't possibly include all of the details that made the books as good as they were. But they left out a LOT. Like Tom Bombadil.

I've waited so long, so I look forward to the other two movies. But I can say with absolute certainty that the books are worth every moment you spend reading them. I waited far too long to tuck them under my belt.

Titles: Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, The Return of the King
Author: J. R. R. Tolkein
Pages: 1,664

Total books blogged: 4
Total pages: 1,874

Word of the Week: Muskellunge

As I anticipate spending much time reading, and much time writing about reading, why not add a lighthearted weekly interlude? All of these books must have new words, or words I'm not overly familiar with. I shall try to explore these on a semi-regular basis.

This week's word: muskellunge. It is mentioned by Farley Mowat as he travels in back-country Ontario. It is a fish - the largest member of the pike family, specifically, and apparently hunted for sport by the Eaton family back when. You can call it a "muskie", if you like.

In other news, I am trading my late-night snack, which is an unhealthy habit that I have trying to break D of (but have somehow let myself slide), for a late-night tea. Tonight's is apple cinnamon, but I let it steep too long, and it is VERY cinnamon-y. Still tasty, but I will become a better tea-brewer as I become a regular blogger and a more frequent reader.

Currently Reading: Eastern Passage by Farley Mowat

I told someone that I was reading my first Farley Mowat book. They looked at me with jealousy and wondered how I had avoided such things in grade school. This led to a double-faceted reaction.

First - I wonder what I missed, not going to grade school here. I almost want to get a reading list from grades 9 through 12 at a local high school and read what I didn't read. I didn't even know who Mowat was until a few years ago. D has a Mowat book, which I still haven't read, but which he spoke of very highly.

Second - I wish I had read books as wonderful as Eastern Passage in high school! It's a book that touches at my knowledge of my country, of Europe, and of the North (which I have only passing familiarity with, but a lasting respect for). He captures you with the details that he adds, which are random and endearing. I look forward to reading more of him.

I've found a purpose for this blog, though I may be slow to get started. As I gear up towards my defense in August (just applied for graduation today!), I will not have much time to read. But I've decided to write about writing - I will finally read the books in my home, many of which I have owned for years and years without once opening them. I will start in the top-left corner of the first bookcase, and end in the bottom-right corner of the fourth one. I will only skip books that I have already read.

I'm excited to share this with the internet - I know no one knows about this blog yet, but I'm also not sure if, at this stage, I want anyone who knows me to know of my project. This could go for years, depending on how many books I buy while I read the ones I already have - I have a weakness for purchasing books, particularly old, leather-bound or cloth-bound books. I miss the Vic College Booksale in Toronto dearly. Perhaps it is best that there are many provinces, and flight weight restrictions, between me and that particular annual sale. Many fruits of many perusals of that sale's offerings will be a part of this project.

Busy

I think it is the thing I anticipated the least going into grad school, and I think it is the thing that, in the end, has had the most profound effect on me. I feel that I never have enough hours in a day to do all of the things a normal person does. Although everyone claims to be 'slammed' as an undergrad, it doesn't come close to the burden of guilt grad students heap upon themselves when they spend time on anything but their schooling.

I currently work full-time. I have only my evenings and weekends to work on my thesis, do RA work for SW, go to the gym three times a week, do dishes, cook all of my lunches and dinners, clean my house, and do laundry. Approximately one week per month, I have the joy of G and J being here and try to do nothing that takes away from that time with the kids. This busy schedule leaves me tired, and the little time I do get when the boys aren't here I mostly spend staring at the TV. I don't even read much, apart from my lunch breaks at work. I finally finished the Fellowship of the Ring today. It took me nearly 4 months.

The thing I regret most is that I rarely correspond with my family and friends. When I first moved out here, I was sending a letter every two months or so to family and friends. I think I've sent two in the last year. It almost feels like work, even though when I do finally sit down and do it I enjoy it immensely. I feel, morbidly perhaps, that if anyone I cared about were to perish tomorrow, I would have profound regrets regarding my behaviour in the last four years. D and I do our best to make time for each other, and we always put the kids first when they are here. But outside of that, I need to make a conscious effort to not lose people that I care about due to lack of contact on my part. I am a bad friend, and for that I am profoundly sad at times, such as now.

I will be done school soon. Perhaps August, perhaps September. But I will be done soon. And I can't wait to have the freedom of enjoying my free time. Of having free time. I will be a better friend, daughter, granddaughter, aunt, sister, and stepmom when I am no longer a student. I look forward to it with relish.

Currently reading: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

I am 27 years old, and am finally reading the Lord of the Rings. I have fond memories of my father reading the Hobbit to me when we lived in India, when I was 10 or so, but I never followed up with the trilogy itself. When they became movies, I swore I would not watch them until I read the books. That was many years ago. Despite the subtle prompting by D (he purchased me the first book on a whim at the bookstore one day), I still did not start reading until very recently, but I did keep my promise to myself: I have not seen the movies yet.

I should probably preempt this by saying I don't like sci fi or fantasy in most cases. There are exceptions - my friend H told me to read Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman, and it was a transportation to another world. And I've found that in almost all cases and for all things that I think I don't like, there are exceptions. Even eggplant. So I went into the Lord of the Rings knowing it was a literary classic and that I would likely find it wonderful, if not my usual cup of tea.

I am currently in the dark and terrifying underground realm of Moria, and I wish I had more time to read. I read on my lunch break, on my coffee break. With my graduate studies taking up so much of my time, I have acquired a vast library of books that I have not read. D also has many books that I have not read. I think this blog will be many things, but one thing it will let me do is reflect on my literary travels though my library, as I will, hopefully, be wrapping up my grad studies soon and can devote more time to the life I've been missing out on while I've been busy becoming a Master.